Thank you for smoking

Between this post and the last... i’ve had an amazing vacation in parts of Assam and Meghalaya and travelled a bit... shopped a lil and read a lot. I love travelling and its good to escape outta home every once in a while coz it gets suffocating at home... my mom is too caring and my dad is too protective to let me be myself. But not their fault really... I’m used to and just need more space now. Also i like to travel coz once i’m outta home i can smoke and smoke as much as i want to.

But smoking is not just a habit... its more of a fucking lifestyle. U meet up an old fren after a couple of years... and what do u do??.. I know wat i do. Go to a smoke joint and share a ciggy... all guards down and it feels u were never outta touch and no ice to break... all so liquid between him and u and feels it has been so since forever. One long drag and while u still taking in the smoke enjoying the bliss of nicotine u manage to say.. “Aur bata panchod!!!... wassup these days?”.

I might not have been such good frenz with some ppl had i not used to smoke with them. U go to a smoke joint and see someone puffing away in glory, someone who lives just across your room or in another corridor in hostel and u used to be good frenz with him but now u hardly talk... life’s been keeping you busy enough. U get one of your own nicotine sticks or share one with him and have a small talk.. catch up... easy.

“U know him?”
“Yeah i do... shared a fag with him once” or “Yeah he gave me light when i was outta matches”.

U wouldnt believe if i told u i could sell my old comp coz i used to smoke.. wouldja? We had an old comp which we wanted to get rid of since long. So we enquired and dad called up some ppl in computer sales and services business he knew.

“I have an old computer... branded. Compaq Presario... in superb condition. Was hoping u could help me sell it!!”.

“Configuration?” came the blunt question from the other side.

With my help he proudly anounced on the phone “Intel Pentium 3, 256 mb Ram, 40 gb hard disk.. no no.. not SATA. Also there is.... “.

Before he could finish... “Sir!!! P3?? No one buys P3 these days... if u so much want to get rid of that old thing u call computer... i advise u to donate it to some school or something, or some institute which teaches poor kids how to type. Charity ka charity... garbage removal ka garbage removal... hahahaa”.

My dad was red with anger... how could someone insult his old computer. His computer’s insult was his insult... or it almost seemed so. “No need selling this computer... Let it lie in that corner”. I tried to argue “But!!!...”. “Its not gonna bite u... that poor lil thing ll just be lying in a corner”. And so it was lying on half of the computer table while i had cramped my other desktop just beside it. Sometimes i imagined if my old comp had feelings, it would be giving dirty looks to my shiny black desktop on which i seemed to spend most of my day. It would be feeling jealous the same way Chandramukhi was jealous of Paaro. But they wont dance around together “O dhola re dhola re”.. would they? Whatever.

One day i just stepped out of my house for a smoke . Got onto my scootrette and rode around and found a cozy lil place. Bought a kings and fired up the lil bastard and smoked em... and while i was at it i was told by the guy in smoke joint that a new computer institute is coming up just next when i enquired bout some fresh construction. Vola!!! I thought.... this is it... he would buy my comp and if he wont... who else would?

And indeed he did.. for 5 grand. And i think i wouldnt have known bout this new institute nearby and could not have possibly befriended its owner had i not been smoking.

I still meet him once in a while i go there for a smoke... we have small talk. Now he’s teaching kids how to use excel sheet while some aunties are learining how to make power point presentations (The ones where letters are like “Khat khat khat” like a typewriter and slides fly out “swoosh swoosh.... “) on that ol thing of mine which we used to call computer and dad was so proud of.

Thanks to smoking... i have been frenz with some amazing ppl. So why doesnt everyone share a fag and peace out and spread love. Imagine There would have been no Pakistan had Gandhi and Jinnah smoked a cigarette or better, a weed joint together. “No no... we dont want a seperate Muslim state.. its all good dude. Gandhi, machchaaw u roll like pro. I would not want to miss that... would i?.. hahahaa. Common now pass me that joint you bespectacled bald prick... ”. Imagine George Bush would visit Tora Bora mountains in Afghanistan and he and Osama would smoke a joint together in a dark cave. “Osama... are there bigfoots in this cave of yours... I can see some shadow around that dark alley there... Or forget it... maybe I’m stoned.. oh fuck!!!”... LMAO

PEACE OUT...

This is for all of u with whom i ever shared a fag or a joint....